Perspective: Transforming 'It Is What It Is' into Determination

by Amy Pechacek

“It is what it is” might sound like wisdom - but more often, it’s a quiet surrender to something that can be changed.

No, it's not as simple as that; it's precisely what you make of it. End of story. I could easily conclude here and carry on with my day, for this encapsulates my philosophy across virtually every facet of life. Regrettably, many individuals genuinely adhere to the notion that life is inherently unchangeable.

However, nothing could be farther from the truth.

This phrase has perplexed me for years. When I hear people utter it, they often do so with an exasperated tone and a shrug of resignation.

People often say things like:

• "I didn't get the promotion. It is what it is."

• "We lost that significant account. It is what it is."

• "We won't be able to go on vacation this year. It is what it is."

• "My twenty-year marriage has come to an end. It is what it is."

In each of these instances, the speaker is conveying the idea that something important to them, something they desired, didn't pan out, and they either feel disheartened or nonchalant about it.

Otherwise, they would choose different words to convey their sentiment.

What if they said:

• "I didn't get the promotion. Now, I need to determine my next step."

• "We lost that substantial account. What can we glean from this experience, and how can we avert such losses in the future?"

• "We won't be able to go on vacation this year. How can we plan more effectively moving forward?"

• "My twenty-year marriage has come to an end. I'm grateful for the lessons learned and am committed to improving in the future."

Notice the difference in the second set of statements. Resignation gives way to determination, resolve, and perhaps even excitement about future possibilities.

This shift isn’t just about perspective — it’s about embracing personal accountability. When we take full ownership of our lives, we stop waiting for someone else to fix things. We start asking better questions, taking intentional steps, and moving with purpose. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

Instead of simply accepting an undesirable fate, these individuals may find a spark within them, driving them to take action and make things happen. They refuse to be defeated; they refuse to give up. Setbacks do not topple them.

Recently, I was engaged in a conversation with friends about taking steps to regain control of our lives and the significance of being intentional about our actions, consumption—both physically and emotionally—and our thoughts.

While my friend Trish was discussing how many people resort to alcohol as a coping mechanism, another friend of ours shrugged, chuckled loudly, and interjected, "It is what it is."

Hold on, what?

My head probably did a complete 360-degree turn as I stared directly at Chuck and declared, "It is NOT what it is. It IS what you make it." Silence.

Chuck was evidently caught off guard. Trish and I could see the gears turning as this new and seemingly foreign concept began to register in his mind. More silence. And eventually, a faint smile and a nod of agreement, "I've never thought of it that way."

That moment stuck with me - not just because Chuck paused, but because it was proof that most people have never been told they have the power to rewrite their own narrative.

Perspective: It Is What YOU Make It

It's all about perspective.

Yes, you absolutely have a choice. Instead of resigning yourself to the status quo and allowing life to unfold passively, you have the power to take personal responsibility for your life. You can embrace a mindset shift - one that empowers you to move from stuck to strategic.

This shift begins with personal accountability. It’s about recognizing that even when life hands us difficult circumstances, we’re not powerless. We may not control everything, but we can always choose our next right step.

If you’re looking at your life right now, and there is an area that you’re not exuberantly happy with, you’re the only one who can change that. In any given moment and in any given situation, you have a choice. And believe it or not, choosing to make no decision is actually a choice in and of itself.

So, the next time you hear yourself - or someone else - say, "It is what it is," pause. Then challenge it. Ask instead: “What can I make it?” Because that question holds power. That question holds possibility.

You are not stuck. You are not powerless. You are the author of what comes next.

The life you want won’t just land in your lap. But it will rise to meet you when you decide to take the next step.

Don't settle for resignation.Choose resolve. Choose movement. Choose to make it what it’s meant to be.

Because your story isn’t over. In fact, it’s just getting good.

You have more power than you think. 

If you're tired of hearing (or saying) "It is what it is," maybe it's time to flip the script. Start asking, What can I do right now to change this? Need help getting unstuck or shifting your mindset?

Let's walk through it together.

Contact us at info@alpstra.com to work with one of our amazing coaches or visit www.alpstra.com to learn more about bringing specialized training to your team.