How to Build Emotional Resilience: 5 Research-Backed Habits for Staying Strong Under Pressure
- Cassandra Rambo
- Jun 20
- 5 min read
Updated: Jul 1
Key Takeaways:
Resilience is adaptability under pressure.
Leaders build resilience by shifting mindsets.
Mini-resets, authentic relationships, and space for struggle all matter.
Resilient teams name and navigate stressors, together.
What Is Emotional Resilience?
Resilience is the capacity to adapt well in the face of adversity, stress, or change. It’s to bend without breaking, and bounce back stronger. Contrary to popular thought, resilience is not about pushing through with gritted teeth. Rather, it’s about learning to emotionally self-regulate, shift perspectives, and stay grounded when life throws a curveball.
Practicing resilience as a skill means an increased ability to navigate stress.
Here are five habits that build emotional resilience for anyone navigating pressure, expectations, or change.
1. Reframe the Story: Don’t Internalize the Injustice
When I think back to one of my earliest lessons in resilience, I didn’t realize that’s what it was at the time.
Early in my career, I helped lead a high-stakes, multi-day conference. Like many events, the pace was relentless with long hours, constant pivots, high visibility and a lot of pressure behind the scenes. I moved into the hotel to stay on-site, giving everything I had physically, mentally, and emotionally. When it came time for recognition, my younger male colleagues were brought on stage and applauded. I wasn’t mentioned at all.
I choked back tears. I didn’t have language for it at the time, but that injustice broke my heart.
It took nearly a decade to realize that what happened was not about me or my efforts. It was about the person I reported to who had their own biases and beliefs, which in turn impacted their choices. That insight gave me freedom. I no longer had to carry the shame of not being recognized, or let that story of being overlooked define my worth.
Resilience grows when we rewrite harmful narratives. Not everything that hurts is your fault. And not everything unfair needs to stay stuck to your identity. Learn more about leadership endurance here.
2. Practice Mini-Resets to Switch Mental Gears
I’m a high driver personality (any other DiSC “D” styles out there?), which means when I’m focused, I’m all in. That’s great for productivity and terrible for transitions.
One of the most effective habits I’ve developed is mini-resets. These are short, intentional breaks, anywhere from 30 seconds to 20 minutes, that help me shift from work-mode to human-mode.
Whether it's stepping outside for a breath of fresh air, closing my eyes, or lying on the floor for a moment to decompress, these mini-resets help me shift gears. They quiet the intensity and allow me to return to my family or team with more gentleness and presence.
Mini-resets are regulatory. And they help us stop leaking stress from one part of life into another.
3. Shift the Stress Narrative: “It’s Not a Bear”
Stress has a sneaky way of convincing us that everything is life-or-death. But most of the time, it’s not.
One of my clients uses the phrase “It’s not a bear” to bring himself back to reality when pressure spikes. It’s his way of reminding himself that the deadline, the conflict, or the challenge ahead isn’t actually life-threatening. It just feels like it.
For me, I have to untangle the thoughts behind the panic. I ask myself: “Is this actually that big of a deal?”
And if the answer is yes, I keep going:
“What else could be true here?”
“What’s the cost of holding this so tightly?”
“What would happen if I released control just a little bit?”
Emotional resilience means zooming out. When we loosen our grip on perfection, urgency, and outcome, we regain our power to respond, rather than react.
4. Don’t Practice Resilience Alone
One of the biggest mistakes I made early in my career was believing that I could only learn from people who were facing the exact same challenges I was. It was narrow and isolating.
But over time, I’ve learned that resilience is contagious. Being in relationship with others who model strength, flexibility, and faith in the midst of chaos actually helps build those muscles in you.
It’s why I now ask my coaching clients questions like:
“What do you do outside of work?”
“What would your day look like if money wasn’t an issue?”
“How spiritually grounded are you?”
(Not to get into anyone’s religious ideology but to understand: what does your support system look like?)
If someone is overworked and isolated, we’re working on something deeper than burnout. We’re treating disconnection.
You don’t build resilience by white-knuckling it. You build it through connection.
5. Stop Hiding the Struggle: Normalize It Instead
Let’s be honest: most workplaces don’t talk about resilience. They talk about performance.
There was a time when phrases like “fail fast” felt fresh and honest. Now most people pretend there’s nothing to adapt to. They muscle through or they hide the cracks, because struggle still equals shame in many workplaces.
If you want to build resilient teams, stop hiding the hard.
That doesn’t mean glorifying burnout or hosting endless vent sessions. I’ve seen plenty of team sessions devolve into rants when there’s no structure, boundaries or norms for how to surface struggles.
Normalizing It means:
Modeling emotional regulation as a leader
Dedicating time to surface struggles
Building rhythms for real check-ins, not just performance reviews
Creating psychological safety for team members to express vulnerability without fear of consequence.
Resilience starts by leading with honesty and humanity.
Final Thought: Resilience Is a Leadership Skill
You need presence, not perfection, to be resilient.
Resilient leaders face the ups and downs of business with quiet steadiness. They ground themselves, reframe challenges, and build cultures where adversity is acknowledged and overcoming it is celebrated.
Want to Build More Resilient Teams?
Resilience is cultural. At Alpstra, we help organizations strengthen leadership, foster emotional intelligence, and create teams that thrive under pressure.
Explore our workshops and leadership training at https://www.alpstra.com/leadership-development-programs
About the Author
Cassandra Rambo is a leadership coach and speaker. She specializes in emotional intelligence, servant leadership, and helping high-growth organizations build trust-driven cultures. Through workshops and coaching, Cassandra equips leaders to lead with clarity, empathy, and impact. When she’s not teaching or writing, you can find her spending time with her two cats—Mitten and Zucca—and dreaming up big ideas over strong coffee.
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